Log in

No account? Create an account

Tea and Swissroll

A Professional Fan Community

Tea and Swiss Roll
Posting Access:
All Members
Fun for fans of The Professionals... with cake.

Hello and welcome to teaandswissroll

While our main focus here is very firmly on The Professionals, a British television series that was broadcast for the first time in the late 1970s, we welcome both mono- and multi-fandom fans of the series to join our little band of crazed fans.

Pull up a chair, grab a piece of Swiss roll and a cuppa and let’s have a chin wag... If you’ve brought some cream horns goodies to share with the rest of us then so much the better. :D

If you want to ramble on about anything even vaguely Pros related and/or squee about truly magnificent things like Bodie's eyebrows or Doyle's forearms then please feel free to do so.

Dodgy manips of Bodie as the Pope? Bring 'em on.

If you want to issue an informal challenge or share a plot bunny that you're not interested in raising yourself then we're game for that as well.

As many of us are multi-fandom fans we don't mind at all if you want to ramble on a bit about one of your other fandoms as long as it is in *connection* to Pros... in fact, if you have a crossover story we'd love to see it.

If you've ever felt the mad urge to write tentacle!porn crack fic for Pros – it takes all sorts – then you’ve found the right place to pick up your straight jacket com.

A Bodie/Doyle story you say? Well... we might be able to find some time to clutch it to our heaving bosoms read that too.

So you love Pros with a fiery passion... but your OTP is not Bodie/Doyle. That’s all right, we can’t all have spectacularly good taste we welcome you to post your Bodie/Murphy, Doyle/Jax, etc., stories here.

Bottom line, we are happy to host *any* story featuring *any* character/s from the Pros ‘verse and, in the fine tradition of the Pros archives, any stories based on other television shows and films that the *main* Pros actors have appeared in. Unfortunately we can’t guarantee you a readership, but languishing on your hard drive isn’t getting your story read either.

Most of all though we hope you will enjoy the time you choose to spend here. Have another cuppa and pass the cake plate... Ta!

Essentially we only have two rules:

1) Treat your fellow com members with respect and common courtesy: Failure to do so is grounds for an immediate visit from Macklin. That man *really* loves his work. *covers eyes*

2) Follow the posting requirements: A failure to do so will earn you a deeply disapproving look from Cowley, PMs from the mods and potentially a visit (not the fun sort) from the lads.

Repeat offenders who cannot take a hint will face Towser swinging the ban hammer. Please do not make Towser's day.

Our com's header, the banners on this page, and the headers for The Weekly Obbo and The Long Job posts are the work of the lovely norfolkdumpling. Our mood theme was created by the lovely nellhowell.


You are welcome to post almost anything related to The Professionals, a British television show that was broadcast for the first time in the late 1970s.

If you'd like to make a special announcement regarding a new com, fandom event, etc., please contact the mods before posting. We're pretty easy going, we just want to double check for relevance.

General posting information

LJ-cuts: Please use a clearly-labelled LJ-cut for the following:
Stories over a drabble’s length.
Long meta pieces.
Icon posts of more than three icons.
Fan drawings
large images.
Multiple images.

Images of an adult nature should be posted under an LJ-cut marked NSFW -- Adult.

Fake LJ-cuts & X-posting: You are welcome to post to your *personal* LJ or to an archive such as The Automated Hatstand or Archive Of Our Own and then fake lj-cut from this com to your personal LJ/an archive or to x-post from your *personal* LJ/an archive to this and other coms that might be interested. If you choose to do this we still require that you use the form listed below *before* cutting to your *personal* LJ/an archive. We will *NOT* accept a fake lj-cut that links directly to another Com's journal.

Tagging: there are a variety of tags available for you to add to your posts and we ask that you add them when posting. If you do not see one that fits your post just drop the mods a line and we'll look at if a new one needs to be created.

Posting information specific to fiction

Story header

Stories must be posted using the following form *before* the LJ-cut.

This form is for use in the html posting window, if you use the rich text posting window then please enter each option you can see in the box (title, author, pros-lib/circuit archive, pairing and / or characters, rating, word count, warnings, crossover, summary, and notes) and bold them as you would normally.

Further notes about header requirements

Author: please mention if your name is different for archiving purposes

Pros-Lib / Circuit Archive: permission to archive yes/no? Please see Archiving notes for further information

RATINGS: please chose between everyone, teen, or adult.

Everyone: Describes stories fit for a general audience of any age. It’s the type of story where someone might get kissed at the end of it, but only in the most 1950s “fades to waves on the beach” sort of way. Mild swearing and the occasional punch might also be included.

Teen: A touch more graphic in content, suitable for readers over the age of 13. Here *allusions* to nice, sweet and mutually fulfilling sex might appear along with slightly more explicit language and a bit more violence. In other words, this rating covers suggestive, but not terribly graphic, content.

Adult: This is where things get graphic. Explicit sex, graphic violence, kink. Bring it on. *g*

If you’re still not certain which rating to use, please PM one of the mods who will be happy to help you.

WARNINGS: We do *require* that a warning for BDSM, Major character death, Rape/Non-con or Incest appear before the LJ-cut.
If your story would rightly require one of these four warnings you *MAY* choose not to issue a specific warning but in that eventuality we require you to type "No warning/s given" in the warnings field.

Further notes about posting stories

LJ-cut and fake lj-cuts: please use a lj-cut or fake lj-cut to post any stories that are longer than a drabble (100 words), see above under general posting information for more details.

Works in progress: You may post them here IF you put WIP: in the subject line before your title. Please be aware that some fen may choose not to read your story until it is completed.

Very long stories? Due to LJ’s posting limitations we understand that it can be difficult to post a longer story in sections without appearing to spam the com. So, if you have a long *completed* story and wish to post it to the com in chapters spread over several days you are free to do so. Please put Serial: in the subject line before the title. Again, please be aware that fen may choose not to read your story until you have finished posting. We are prepared to take your word for it that your story is a Serial rather than a WIP... please don’t let us down.

Underage: Stories with depictions of sex with or between characters under 16 years old may *not* be posted here. Child sexual abuse can be referred to, but not depicted.

RPF: should *NOT* be posted here (either directly or via linking).


Pros on LJ

pros_newsletter: A digest of all things Pros.
prosfinder: We are here to help you find whatever thing Pros you are looking for.
pros_icontest: Designed as a place where fans of TV's The Professionals can indulge in a little friendly competition in the making of icons.
ci5_boxoftricks: The Pros Big Bang Fanfiction Challenge
the_safehouse: Discussion about the show and its cast and for the posting of fan creations.
ci5hq: A rec, discussion and news community for The Professionals.
discoveredinalj: A seasonal Pros slash and gen-friendly community.
shooting2kill’s Vision series. Images from the episodes juxtaposed in a very creative way with quotes from Pros fan fiction writers.

Pros on Yahoo groups:

Pros-Lit: Pros-Lit is a list where fans of the Professionals can discuss stories, episodes, and everything Pros-related. This list is primarily slash, but gen fans are welcome.
Proslib: This is the online circuit slash library list for the British tv series, The Professionals.


The Automated Hatstand: Archives all Pros slash, regardless of pairing. We also welcome slash stories for other media the main Pros actors have appeared in, such as Judge John Deed and Who Dares, Wins. All new stories are posted here by the authors themselves, who have complete control over all editing and deletion options.
The Hatstand. Now frozen to new submissions.
The Circuit Archive.
The Professionals section at Archive of Our Own.

A note on Archiving

The archivists for both Proslib and the Circuit Archive have RLs every bit as busy as the rest of us do and it might take a while for them to get around to archiving your stories. In the meantime, please consider uploading your own stories to The Automated Hatstand and take a look at this post for information about submitting stories to Pros-Lib.

Further resources:

The Daily Professionals. A daily dose of the lads, on tumblr.
The Great Proswatch. Commentaries on the episodes from Pros fans.
The Hatstand's transcripts of the episodes.
The Hatstand's character biographies.
justacat’s The Bisto Kids: A Bodie/Doyle Manifesto
The Professionals: Overview at crack_van
The Professionals story recs at crack_van
The Professionals Wikipedia entry.
aggressive chest hair, angelfish, anson, athletic eyebrows, backtracking, bad cat burglary, benny, bistokids, bodie, bodie/doyle, boiler suits, boots, buggyboo, car chases, carrots, ci5, clashing plaids, cold sausages, confined spaces, cowley, crack!fic, cuban heels, curly perms, disappearing shirt buttons, discovering things in graveyards., dodgy accent impersonations, doyle, engaging modesty, ex-coppers, ex-detective constables, ex-mercenaries, ex-sas sergeants, expense chits, expensive desks, fan art, fan fiction, fan vids, ford capris, ford escort, foreign film, french lessons, fur bedspreads, gordon jackson, guns, handbrake turns, handcuffs, huge sunglasses, jax, kate ross, keats, leaning as an art, leather gloves, leather jackets, lewis collins, liver sausage sandwiches, long eyelashes, lucas, macklin, marge, martin shaw, mccabe, mobile ghetto, morris, motorbikes, murphy, obbos, perfectly sculpted arses, persian flaw damaged cheekbone, plaid jackets, polonecks, priapismic monster, pwp, rose-gardening, roses and lavender, running, saving our partners, seven dwarves jokes, shifty eyes, shotgun tommy, shoulder holsters, silver bangles, single malt scotch, slash fiction, snark, sober little scotsmen, spy cams, stakeouts, stuart, sunshine, superman watches, swiss roll, tall dark and beautiful, tea, the professionals, the third man, thunder and lightning brigade, tight jeans, tight trousers, yellow t-shirts